This is what we have come to today.

I am tired of faking that I ENJOY my life.

Okay, no no.. The people IN it, is more like it. 

I know he’s the one for me. I just chose to out-right ignore it. Even though no one in my life makes me happier than he does. Ever.

I am just some hot piece of ass to every man that I ever talk to.

My best friend is fucking PSYCHO and is obsessed with a boy who I happen to know first hand does not like her. At all. And I can’t tell her because she’d loathe me until the end of time.

My job..? Yeah, the job itself is fucking awesome. But I can’t stand the people I work with, but I have to act as though I simply adore all of their cocky fucking faces. One of the men I work with hits on me constantly and he’s like.. 47. And his WIFE IS MY BOSS. Fuckin slick there, buddy.. 

Alright. Venting is over.

Night.

I am fucking done trying to be people’s friend. 

I am so tired of being the super-sweet girl that you can run to for anything that you need. 

Fuck alllll of you.

People used to ask me every damn day of my life to hang out with them to a point where I would stay home just so I could be away from people so much! Thennnnnnnn people told me I could be too sarcastic sometimes that it came off as bitchy. So, I worked on it. Now I’m super nice to people all the time, and now I’m not as fun as I used to be.

So what do you prefer, you idiots?

The sarcastic, incredibly loud, fun me?

Or the super-sweet me that will do anything for you, but isn’t as fun as she used to be?

Whatevs. I’m a bitch at heart, and that’s what I’ll be. Suck it if you don’t like it.

Peace.

Why do I feel so.. shitty? I guess that’s the only way to describe it. 

I have no idea. I keep trying to find something or someone to blame the emptiness I’ve been feeling on, but there isn’t anything. 

I can’t tell if I’m just trying to feel miserable, or if there is just some huge chunk of my life missing, and I really am miserable.

I’m single, I’m having the hardest time finding a job, school is hard as fuck, my parents are incredibly unhappy— making the household itself an unhappy environment.. And the only thing that makes me happy costs so much money that I can’t keep up with it. (Dance, people. I’m not a druggie or alcoholic..Sheesh.) I lost my love for music.. I don’t know what happened. I love to sing.. OR, I used to. I just realized that I could go absolutely no where with it. I’ve chosen a career path that will take me six years of college to get to, and I don’t even WANT to do it.

My best friend is now beginning to drive me INSANE. Like, normally I would sit there and listen to any and everything that she has to vent about. I would love to, in fact. Why? Because I love to help people. I love to see that people get happier and happier. I hate when people are upset, it breaks my heart. BUT lately, I just want to smack her, tell her to get the eff over it, and worry about other things in life that more important. 

Someone always has it worse. She complains about the most petty things, I’ve come to realize. The one time that I piped up and said, “Think of this way, someone else always has it worse. Some people don’t have anyone who cares about them, you should be happy you do.” 

To which she replied with a very snotty, heavy tone, “I’m well aware of what I have, Shannon. You don’t need to TELL me, okay?”

Oh man. God forbid that I freakin’ sit there and try to help you by telling you the TRUTH instead of doing what everyone else does for you.. Oh wa wa wa. You’ll be okay, this this this.. All the bullshit people feed you because no one wants to stand up to you. Fuck this life. It isn’t what I planned it to be, and I’m NOT going to sit by and let it fall out from underneath me and be unhappy.

In the words of Henry James, “It’s time to start the life you imagined.”

And that, Henry, is exactly what I’m going to do.

Almost everyone from my past life is gone.

I’m starting a new chapter without you, you, or you in it. You’re gone.

You were all huge chunks of my life, but my life is so much better off without you. You’re too dramatic and a liar, you’re an asshole and a liar, and you’re a fucking backstabbing bitch and a liar.

I have no idea why I kept any of you in it for so long, because quite frankly I hate all of you, and the other people in my life who actually give a shit are here now.

Shannon is on her way to a bright future.

Just got back from the John Mayer concert at Blossom.

I think I’m high from all the second hand smoke around me after ‘Who Says’.

Anyway.

It was mind blowing. Boggling. Enhancing. Entrancing. Unique. Graceful. Goofy. Stumbling. Jittery. Enchantment. Heartbreak.

I actually LEARNED things from listening to John Mayer speak at his concert. Holding on isn’t worth it. :D And for some reason, I feel fucking awesome. I AM fucking awesome.

Plus, literally every single person sat down around me during one song that was one of his 8 minute long ones and it was sweet. I felt like I was front row, even though I wasn’t. :D

Tried to get a good photo, but I was farther back. I just love his outfit, don’t you? Reppin’ it Cleveland style, folks.

Last week my friend and I decided to elect people for our own awards in the celebrity world.

I figured a few people would appreciate this award.

Candidates for the sexiest celebrity tattoo:

Angelina Jolie:

Sylvester Stallone:

Tommy Lee:

John Mayer:

Justin Timberlake:

Eminem:

We elected the winner.

Yeah, it was an easy choice.

Last night I was at a friend’s house for one of her get togethers that she frequently has every week. :)

There was some guy there with his guitar, singing John Mayer songs. So, I immediately went over there to see if this guy was really any good. As I went over, this guy stopped and looked up at me only to say, “This is it. That’s the girl I have been looking for!”

Without thinking, I immediately said, “Wtf? Stay away from me, you creepenstein.”

I then proceeded to walk away, and heard murmurs behind me and such. One of my good friends came up to me and asked if I would go upstairs with her where it was more quiet because she needed some advice. I of course said yes because I am always the advice giver of my friends.

I went upstairs with her, and we sat down on the bed. She didn’t tell me anything, but then sat up laughing and squealing, then darted out the door shoving THAT RANDOM GUY INTO THE DOOR!

I began to get up and leave to go yell at my friend, but he stopped me and said, “Please, I have been wanting to do this forever and you are the only person who fits the part.”

I felt pity for the kid, so I just sat down on the bed.

This kid picks up his guitar, lays on the bed, and starts cranking out his amazing rendition of ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ to me. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing hysterically, but I think he took it the wrong way. Hahaha. He hasn’t left me alone since.. My idiotic friends gave him my fb.. thankfully he doesn’t have my number.

Greatest experience and story EVER.

So, I’m seeing John Mayer in 6 days at Blossom Music Center.

Why? Dunno.

Why support someone who is as cocky as he is? He is quite possibly one of the cockiest sons of bitches out there. We promote it, though. We all seem to be consumed with how he represents himself. We all like to take note of his cockiness as much as humanely possible. He is this incredible musician, who’s personality consumes every ounce of him. This phenomenal musician, who puts his heart into his music. I literally get goosebumps when I hear the first five seconds of any song he’s ever written. Everyone’s always like.. “They’re just like us. Blah blah blah.”

NEWSFLASH: NO, THEY’RE NOT LIKE US. THEY’RE CELEBRITIES FOR A REASON.

Take note, people— we are not like them. We don’t all sit on wads of cash. We don’t all have paparazzi in our faces when walk out the door. We don’t have our own clothing lines or perfumes.

Why? I’ll tell you why. Because they’re talented, and they deserve it. Do you really think that John Mayer just sits there and takes an hour or so to pop out a song? Mmm, if only we were that naive. No, we’re just concerned with for some reason protecting people we don’t even know.

Why do we always want to know what is going on in celebrities lives? You don’t sit there and think, “I wonder what my neighbor is doing. Is he cheating? Is he being cheated on? What is he eating.. where does he even like to eat?” Etc.  

I have no idea why I just wrote this blog. Maybe it’s because I’m wondering myself why I want to meet John Mayer so badly. Hurumph.

This is it.

I’m off to New Jersey in 5 hours to audition for American Idol. This has been my dream since the show first came on the air.

However, getting my hopes up is wrong of me. So, I shall not. Or at least I will definitely try not to. I will not cry if I don’t, and I won’t freak out if I do.

This will just be an experience that I won’t forget. Ever. It shall be a good one. :D

I’m wishing myself luck, since no one else on this website will.

Good luck, Shannon.